HAPPY HOLIDAYS?

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Holiday last Thursday. It is the one day each year that we are able to stop and truly consider our blessings.

I started my day with the annual Enfield High, Fermi High football game. It was especially rewarding to see the game played on the new football field just completed at Fermi High School. I can hardly wait to see the game next year on the brand new field at Enfield High School.

We spent the rest of the day with family watching football, enjoying the Thanksgiving dinner, watching a movie, eating again, watching more football, and eating again….I think you get the idea.

Thanksgiving officially kicks off the Christmas Holiday Season. We will begin to see lawn displays with the Christmas theme, town events to draw our community together, shopping centers filled with people looking for just that right gift, and classic movies that remind us of days gone by. My favorite movies for the holiday are “White Christmas”, “Holiday Inn” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

But, with all the joy and celebration that comes along with this season, there is also some sadness that many cannot escape.

As a Pastor I have spent a great deal of time during the Christmas Season counseling with people dealing with depression and despair. Many people get what is commonly called “the blues” when this time of year rolls around.

One reason for the “blues” is the feeling of loss for those of us who have lost loved ones around Christmas. I am included in the mass of people who have dealt with this incredible pain.

On December 6th, it will be five years since I lost my mother to cancer. Her name was Lewanda Stokes, who now has a namesake in our new grand daughter, Izabel Lewanda.

Every year as we begin to make our Christmas plans I feel a loss knowing that mom will not be here to share the joy. I, as many of you, do not have the chance to taste her homemade pies. We do not get to see her face as we give her a gift we have had in the works for months, and we do not get to see her hold her great grand children on her lap.

My mom was always in charge when it came to Christmas. Each year as we met at mom and dads home we waited for her direction for dinner time and gift opening. Of course, my brothers and I always found a way to sneak a piece of pie early or inspect our gifts….we became experts at resealing our presents.

So, how do we that deal with the “blues” overcome this emotion and find happiness at Christmas?

First, I believe we need to shake off the guilt of feeling this way. I have found that when people begin to feel “seasonal depression” it is made worse by feeling guilty for this emotion. Seasonal depression is a common emotion that need not be hidden and complicated by secrecy.

Don’t feel guilty for lacking in the joy others may have at Christmas. It is alright to feel the loss of the people who have been promoted to heaven.

Second, talk to someone about this emotion. Reach out to family, friends or even the family spiritual leader. Talking through your feelings is a sure way to empty yourself of the feeling of dread. Isolation is not the answer and believe me, you will not be a burden to people around you. Your love ones want to help you through this time and lift your spirits.

Third, place yourself in an environment to help others. I have found that going to the Nursing Homes during the holidays allows me to be a blessing to others and brings true fulfillment. Each year we at Cornerstone Church spend Sunday afternoons walking the halls of local Nursing Homes singing Carols and sitting with these lovely people. Simply, doing good makes you feel good!

Last, choose your memories. My mother suffered for over a year with cancer. I watched her once strong body go through the stages of weakness, and needed 24/7 care.

Yes, I have a hard time getting that image out of my mind. But, I do my best to remember her when her energy was strong and her life for full of vigor.

Today she walks the streets of heaven. There is no pain or suffering. The word cancer is not part of the heavenly dictionary and there are no tears to shed. I do miss her, but she lives on in faces of her great grand children, the love of a husband of 48 years, and the heart of her three sons.

Greg Stokes